So as I sit here trying to enjoy a few last moments of summer before heading off to College Station (CS) I am reminiscient of how this summer has turned out. I really wasn't looking forward to coming home this past May, with Laura being in Europe, weird stuff happening at home, and my church family and friends all in CS. But God has used this time, too, as character building/refining time and has given so many blessings while I was home in Kerrville. My Dad owns and operates a small retail paint business that I work at while I am at home (and always have). Every summer, along with our everyday work, I have projects to work on improving the store, like putting in new floors, painting the outside of the building, scrapping texture off the ceilings etc. and this summer I worked on painting quite a bit and scrapping a ceiling. It was during some of these times that I would listen to some commentary teachings about my daily bible reading. For hours painting the ceiling I would meditate on the Word or just allow God to teach me while I prayed and listened. I would get so full of God's presence up on the step-ladder I was on! God was drawing me closer towards Him during that time and it was so precious. If nothing else happened this summer, just the awesome way that God had planned for me to meet with Him everyday on that step-ladder was such a blessing to know that God is still not done with me yet and keeps molding me into the woman He wants me to be.
One of the best highlights of the summer was FCA Camp. I actually worked three: Abilene, A&M, and Baylor. Each camp was so special with just an amazing outpouring of the Spirit upon each one and so many memories and friends were made that I will always treasure in my heart. Being a huddle leader with a small group of middle/high school girls gave me so many opportunities to share the gospel and see how God can use even me to reach those who need Him. I absolutely love camp and will always have a special place in my heart for the ministries of FCA and their goal of glorifying the Saviour in all things.
So being home means confining to parental rule again which I don't really mind but it definitely took some time to get used to again. But other things with faimly issues kept getting to me. Its not that I don't have a great family who loves the Lord, but sometimes selfishness, hurt, and a lack of freedom in one generation can create confusion and disturb the peace that only God can bring and carry over to the next generation. I have had to forgive my parents from childhood, and I keep having to forgive them and honor God with my attitude and respect of them. My older brother John and I used Romans 8:28 to help us live without bitterness or rebellion towards our childhood/family issues as we would say that "all things work for good to those who are called accoding to His purpose". Even now, when trials are present in any aspect, I have to give it to the One who has offered to take my heaviness of heart and put it in my "All things together for good" file., knowing that He is using this to polish my heart and show me His faithfulness. John and I chose that the generational curse would not continue past us, that we would chose God's best and allow forgiveness even for the deepest of wounds. Sometimes I don't understand, but I want God to be able to use any situation to teach me His ways and refine me. So this summer had some downright low spots for our family but I want to put it all in my file so that God can work good out of it.
I have also had time to ponder career choices and life-decisions in those lonely moments ontop the step-ladder. While I love learing about health issues and helping others get medical help I really don't want a "career". I've thought before that God wanted me to go into missions, which still might be a possibility someday, but I know one thing that I want more than anything else and thats to be a mom. I know it sounds corny but I have always wanted to just be a Godly mom who brings her children up in the light of the Word. I want to be growing a mission field in my own home and pour God's love into my own children. I guess thats not what God has for me now, and probably not for a long time considering the state of my singleness, but it won't keep me from praying for them now. Whatever else God has for me will be great, but I know that God has made me to be a mom and putting that desire in my heart is such a great feeling. And learning about health will help me take care of my future family someday, how great :)
So just a few more hours until I leave for this upcoming semester in College Station and I can hardly wait for it to get started :D God has so many great things planned for me already and I am excited to see how God will be drawing me closer in towards Him and using me as an empty vessel to carry His good news. May I just be willing to surrender to Him in all things and allow Him to shine through me. Thank you to everyone who helped make this summer great for me =)
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